"Train them up in the way they should go!"

"Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it."  Proverbs 22:6

We believe, as parents, God asks us to take on the responsibility of training up our children into His likeness.  We must not fall prey to watering our sin nature down as the world seems to do.  Our pastor is always reminding us to call a spade a spade and sin, sin.  If we tell our children that they didn't pick up their toys because they were being irresponsible, then for the rest of their lives they will think they are irresponsible people.  It's not irresponsibility, it's sin.  It's flat out disobeying their parents when they were asked to pick up their toys.  If they don't know that they have sinned, disobeyed their parents, when God commands them to obey their parents, they will never know they need Jesus OR to respect authority.  If they don't think they need Jesus ------- they are destined eternal damnation.  We don't know about you but we believe if we can help it, we are going to try our best to show them their need for Jesus.

As discipline is concerned the Bible teaches it.  The Bible teaches correction by using a rod: 

• Proverbs 13:24, "He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him."  

• Proverbs 22:15, "Folly is bound up in the heart of the child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him."  

• Proverbs 23:13-14, "Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die.  Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death." 

• Proverbs 29:15, "The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother."

It's obvious God is an advocate of discipline.  There are many ways to discipline and many ways not to discipline.  Proverbs 13:24 says those who love their children will discipline them, this means anyone who would love their children would certainly not beat their children.  And if you study up on anger, you certainly should not discipline your child out of anger.  It needs to be out of love.  It takes patience and self control when you discipline your children out of love.  AND it models for them self control as well.  If we go off on our children out of anger or being 'fed up' with them, we are not disciplining them from the beginning.  Basically, we are throwing a tantrum ourselves when we are not getting our way or are in control of the situation.  Isn't that what we are disciplining our children for -- maintaining self control (in some cases)?

Anyway, Tedd Tripp in his book 'Shepherding a Child's Heart' does a phenomenal job explaining how to get to the heart of the matter and not just saying no to the behavior.  Since our sin nature pushes us to be rebellious, if we don't explain to our children why they act the way they do and what will happen to them when they do something wrong, they won't even know why we are not pleased.  They will never make the connection from pleasing us to pleasing God.  If you have the opportunity to go to a Tripp's seminar, GO.  His brother Paul Tripp does 'Age of Opportunity' for older aged, teenage kids.

That's all we have to say about that.  We are not professional therapists, we are struggling parents as everyone else, constantly making decisions AND mistakes.  The balance of life is difficult and if we were to give any advice other than the Biblical instruction and good helps like Tripp's book, we would say keep your priorities straight.  God first, husband/wife second, child third, and so on.  The umbrella of authority stands firm and makes things go round and round.  And obstruction to that structure causes weak links and a crash in the family function.  But it's nothing God could not mend at any time on any day!!

May God bless you and your efforts to raise a family for His Glory!

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Web Page Last Updated:  10/26/2008